When it comes to emotional, challenging conversations, discussing your funeral preferences with family is right up there. But having these chats can save your family a lot of stress in the future, and it’s a meaningful way to show them how much you care.

In this article, we’ll walk you through how to start the conversation, what key details to share and ways your family can support you with your prepaid funeral plans. 

Starting a conversation about your prepaid funeral preferences can feel uncomfortable, but with a little planning, it can be a lot easier than you think. Choose the method that feels the most comfortable for you, whether that’s a text message, email, phone/video call or in-person chat with a cup of tea and a biscuit (highly recommended). Below are a few options to consider. 

Bringing up funeral plans in person can feel a bit daunting, but it allows for an intimate conversation where you can answer questions in real-time and provide reassurance. 

Rather than bringing it up out of the blue during a casual catch-up, let your family know in advance that you’d like to discuss something important and sensitive. For example, you could send a text message along the lines of: 

Hi [name], I know this is a difficult subject to bring up, but I’ve been thinking about my funeral wishes and I’d like to share my planning so far with you. When would be a good time for us to talk?

When you do meet up with them, reiterate that you’re grateful they could make the time and you understand it’s a sensitive topic. 

If you’re someone who needs time to process people’s responses, putting your funeral wishes in writing can be an excellent choice to maintain some distance while still being open. You can send a simple text or email, or even a letter, outlining your funeral preferences and explaining your reasons for making them. 

You might like to adapt this template to suit your personality:

Dear [name],

I know this is a bit of an unusual message, but I’ve been thinking about the future and I’ve made some decisions regarding funeral planning that I wanted to share with you. 

I’ve decided to prearrange and prepay for my funeral through [Funeral Provider]. It did feel like a strange process at first, but now I feel very at ease about it! It was actually quite a special thing to do, to sit down and reflect on my wishes, all the while knowing that it will relieve some of the financial pressure on you when the time comes.

You can find all my funeral preferences here [attach a document outlining funeral details, e.g., cremation, burial, specific service preferences]. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 
Thanks for understanding and honoring my wishes.

With love,

[Your name]

Your family is bound to have lots of questions, so a way to make the conversation smoother for everyone is by creating a document that outlines all the key details of your funeral planning. 

Here’s what to include:

• Prepaid funeral provider: List the provider you’ve chosen, including their contact information, location and any policy or plan numbers related to your prepaid funeral. This should also include instructions on how to initiate the process when needed.

• Service preferences: Include clear instructions on the type of service you want (traditional burial, cremation, celebration of life, etc.). 

• Memorialisation requests: Note any special instructions for memorialising you. This could include suggestions for a headstone inscription, memorial donations, or any specific charity or cause you’d like contributions to be made to in your name.

• Financial details: Clarify the financial arrangements you’ve made, such as whether your prepaid funeral plan covers everything or if additional payments may be needed. 

• Special requests: List any additional preferences, from special flowers to a favourite dish at the memorial reception. The more detailed your cheat sheet, the easier it will be for your family to honour your wishes. 

Talking about your funeral wishes can be challenging. Here are some tips to help put your loved ones at ease. 

Aim to have this conversation when everyone is calm and has ample time to absorb the information. Avoid bringing it up during family events or when people are stressed or in a hurry.

Avoid being vague about your preferences, as this can lead to confusion or misunderstanding in the future.

Your loved ones may be surprised, anxious or even upset at first. Let them know how hard this can be to talk about and give them space to process.

Explain why you’re taking the time to pre-plan, like locking in rates to protect your family from future financial stress and easing the emotional burden on them when the time comes.